A team question...

**MGF** · 08-08-2012, 07:44 AM

I don't have an issue getting family members on board but I think there's a big problem with the "would be" team itself.

Most of my family is out of town so, at least in the short term, they'd be on their own. My son, his wife and baby is close by, m in-laws are in town for part of the year and my crazy sister in law lives pretty close.

A while back my wife mentioned the need to include the in-laws in whatever contingency plans we have. A little about these people...my wife in an outdoor nut. She's the wild edibles expert and all around crafts person. In addition, she's the one who really does most of the work with out live stock. A handy lady to have around.

My son is a former Marine with combat experience and he's been hunting and fishing with me since he hit the ground.

The rest...The father in-law is pretty crippled up and doesn't have any useful skills that I know of. Same with the mother in-law. The sister in-law is EXTREMELY over weight, has no useful skills that I know of and would argue with me if I said the grass is green. That'd be fun in a survival situation.

I'm pretty well versed and experience in all things "woodsy" and I'm a farrier, blacksmith/blade smith etc but I'm 53 years old. I'm healthy and in pretty good shape but I don't run as fast or jump as high as I used to.

Are you seeing the picture? Just like the nation, I seem to be over-burdened with dependents and I didn't even address any other family or neighbors (non of whom could possibly be any help).

Whether it's a bug-in or bug-out, I don't have much of a chance do I? Just like Obamacare, I need to find some young, healthy people to support the rest. LOL

**Morgan101** · 08-08-2012, 08:40 AM

That is a difficult situation to say the least, and truthfully, mine is not to different. My family is many, many, miles away. My in-laws would be absolutely no help. Neighbors would probably all be going in their own direction, which would not be the same as mine.

Basically, we are preparing for ourselves. We do not plan to include anybody, or take anybody in if they show up. It is easy to say now when you don't have people pounding on the door asking for help. If the time comes it will be interesting to see if my wife would take the same hard line stance she has now about not including anybody else, especially if it is one of her sisters. She is basically very tender hearted. I do plan for at least one extra person just in case.

IMO the person stuck in the middle will be your son. He is going to be pulled in two directions: his own family or his in-laws. His loyalty will be to you, but his wife will pull him toward her family, and from what you have written, it sounds like they will need a lot more help.

It sounds like a family meeting may be in order to discuss the eventualities. Like it or not I think you will be stuck with the in-laws, and will have to find a way to make it work. Find the simpler things that they can do to help, less physically demanding maybe. Make sure you, your wife, and son are all on the same page, and roles are defined. Now is the time to discuss it, not after TSHTF. Good Luck!

**ZAGran** · 08-08-2012, 10:22 AM

)I'm in much the same boat. Both my children live a ways away. One about 60 miles, the other a little over 200. I'm the BOL for the one 60 miles away. I'm just not sure of who would come with. Some of the inlaws would be great to have others, doubious. In fact the one that has the right mind set and I would love to have is dibetic. Type one. (sob)
This inlaw's oldest son would fit right in as well but the wife and youngest son are not the best to consider. Of course if you take one you have to take all. He is planning to move about another 50 miles away the next couple of weeks so that may not arise. Still, I am trying to find a couple of very big clay flower pots to make the evaporation cooler for his insulin in case he does make it. And have, sadly, mentaly prepaired myself to bury him on the place if that arises. And I sure don't expect him to last as long as the girl in One Second After. He would push himself and would chafe against his asigned role of lookout and defense. He would want to be doing some of the heavy lifting.

As for the ones 200+ away, they have two choices, me or my brother's. My brother is about the same distance from them as I. Just depends on circumstances where and if they make it. St. Louis area not a good place to be if SHTF. He has a 1964 chevy pickup ( first vehicle) keeps it in top shape ( EMP their biggest worry ) so they would have transportation if they can get enough fuel.

If worst comes to worst, it will be me and my co-operating neighbor & his family.

**RICHFL** · 08-08-2012, 11:16 AM

There are two truths here.

1. You are born into your family so you cannot chose those members; this includes your in-laws - you just got to live with it!

2. You can pick and chose your friends. You do this through attending school, going to work, where you pick to live (neighbors) and other family ties.

Work around their short falls, see what they can bring to the table once the time has come.

**MGF** · 08-08-2012, 11:57 AM

There's another couple of truths. One is the simple fact that to many people who can't perform may result in failure to survive, plain and simple.

Another, and I might take some flack for this one, is that my priority is taking care of my wife (who's pretty good at taking care of herself), my kids and grandkids.

That means that if, for example, I thought my sister in-laws argumentative, know-it all-nature posed an immediate threat to the priorities mentioned, I would do whatever I had to do to end that threat. I don't think I care to try to be any plainer than that.

I could see that very thing happening about 15 minutes into it. My wife and I have discussed it together but not with anybody else.

**myakka** · 08-08-2012, 01:36 PM

My wife has stated that my parents will be great assets being farm folk who usually have better preps than us, but her folks are like two small children that will have to be cared for.

**jezcruzen** · 08-08-2012, 02:28 PM

Few of us probably have the room to take in extended family, including in-laws. Having people sitting around in the way or having to sleep on the floor in every room just isn't going to work.

Here is a suggestion. Tell your in-laws and sister-in-law that you and your wife will help them prepare for themselves. By "help", I mean that you and your wife will provide them guidance in how they should prepare and provide the leadership and encouragement to get them working towards it. If either or both refuse or put you off, well... you tried. You certainly do not need them moving in on top of you after not lifting a finger to help themselves.

**Applejack** · 08-08-2012, 03:36 PM

I guess I am a bit more fornutate. My parents are gone now and my older sister has also deceased. My husband's brother is deceased also. So it will be just me, hubby, daughter, son in law and my 3 grandchildren. My biggest problem is my stepdaughter who is nothing but truble. her two children I would take in although they are grown and got out of there mother's house as soon as they could. Stepdaughter isn;t yet devorced and already has a boyfriend living with her so I found out from her daughter. We won't know about it from her until Christmas day when she show's up to eat and doesn't say a word to us about him. Then she will do like she did before and cuss hubby out because we didn't get him a christmas present. We'll she doen't know that we know about it and not going to say anything either and we are not going to buy him a gift either. Never met him and he won't be welcome. With her reputation, he could be another druggy. this will be our only problem, but maybe she will go to her mother's if SHTF.
AJ

**Bue** · 08-08-2012, 08:28 PM

MGF I have the same concerns ie inlaws etc with no viable skills. Plus 3 grown sons all with an Alpha mentality. Hopefully post SHTF they'll work together for the good of the group. In all honesty though any of the 3 could be the leader of a group. The inlaws bring absolutley nothing to the table in typical sheeple fashion. But at the end of the day they are family. Don't what's to be done except plan for them

**Morgan101** · 08-09-2012, 09:13 AM

I would hope for all of us here, myself included, that we have some compassion for those who are UNABLE to help themselves, and I stress UNABLE. Not the lazy, or the unwilling, or the beligerant, but the elderly, the physically handicapped, the infirm who cannot take care of themselves when TSHTF.

There will be many, many tasks that will require many, many hands. They may not be able to chop wood, or go get water from the creek, but they could probably peel potatoes, or shuck peas, sew or mend clothing. They can be useful, and we all have a responsibility to take care of them. Even Great Grandma who is 150 can supervise,and teach how to do a skill that she is no longer able to perform.

It is a concept I wrestle with all the time: differentiating between the truly needy, and the truly lazy. Again, I do not include able bodied teens or adults in this group. They are making a choice not to help. I am talking about people who would gladly help if they were physically able.

IMHO.