Retired Guy

[Morgan101]

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With all the neagtive news and stories of gloom and doom I thought you moght enjoy this.

An old retired guy was sitting on his front porch in his rocking chair. His wife came out and said " What are you going to do today?"

He said " Nothing." She said, " You did that yesterday." He said " Well is wasn't finished yet."

You gotta laugh 'cuz we're too big to cry.

[myakka]

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I want to share my favorite joke, but I know it will offend. So please let me preface this with saying I do not condone violence against women, this is just a stupid joke, that for some reason makes me laugh.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? You shouldn't have to say anything, someone already told her twice.

This was told to me by a female "self-defense" instructor before she proceeded to beat the living daylights out of me. (I was her demonstration dummy, called an uke.)

I think what I like about this stupid joke is saying it in front of women that I know will react and watching their face as they absorb it. Of course, I like a good arguement now and then...........

[Chefsimms]

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I want to share my favorite joke, but I know it will offend. So please let me preface this with saying I do not condone violence against women, this is just a stupid joke, that for some reason makes me laugh.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? You shouldn't have to say anything, someone already told her twice.

This was told to me by a female "self-defense" instructor before she proceeded to beat the living daylights out of me. (I was her demonstration dummy, called an uke.)

I think what I like about this stupid joke is saying it in front of women that I know will react and watching their face as they absorb it. Of course, I like a good arguement now and then...........

I thought you were going to say it was Dolly Parton and that she just got back from joging....

[Chefsimms]

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WAL-MART SENIOR GREETER


Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.

Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear.
It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"
(scroll down..... ..............)








"They said, "Good morning, Admiral, can I get you coffee, sir?"







"The strongest reason for people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."
- Thomas Jefferson